What 95-Year Olds Said They Would Do Different

Three Things I Learned as a Freshman at WSU

I remember the meeting. Early September 1987. Koinonia House on the Washington State University campus. I was a new freshman, almost 18. Alone. Sitting on the floor in the large upper room with a bunch of other college students I had just barely met. Old yellow carpet. Bobby playing the guitar with heart and emotion. (So, that’s what worship can be like! For a guy who grew up singing hymns in pews, it was a great experience.) Doug, the campus minister of the InterVarsity group, kind of helped run the meeting that night. The scene is still so clear in my mind, but like from another life, long ago.

After the singing they played a video (yes, we had videos back then, VHS ones). I had never heard of Tony Campolo, and now am sure that I would not endorse everything he has said or has done. He is pretty radical in his ideas, and not all of them are very conservative.

Anyways, back to Tony. Very good communicator. That night he was talking (at least the part I remember) about a survey of 50 95-year olds. They were asked what they would do different if they could live their life over again. And here are Tony’s three takeaways from that survey.

(1) Reflect More

It is so easy just to go along and keep doing the ordinary. Do your school. Or go to your job. Keep your weekly schedule. Autopilot your life. But these 95-years olds, looking back, said they would reflect more. They would think more deeply about life. They would live more intentionally. Maybe that means that they would be more present in the moment, not off somewhere else, wishing they were somewhere different from where they actually were at. Busy-ness is an American disease. Taking time to journal, reflect, remember, and consider your future is not a normal, encouraged part of our culture. But it should be if you want to live well.

(2) Risk More

These 95-year olds would have taken more risks. They wouldn’t have always played it safe. They would have pursued their dreams and big visions. In the words of that great 80s philosopher, Sylvester Stallone, “Go for it.”

When these elderly folks looked back at their lives they didn’t say, “I wish I hadn’t tried so hard.” Or “I sure regret trying out for that part.” “I wish I had never asked her.” There is not much reward that doesn’t come with some risk. Invest little, gain little. Invest much, gain much.

There is a lot more of, “I wonder what would have happened if I had spoken up…?” and “I wish that I had gone…” or “I always knew that I should have ….” I’m pretty sure if you have lived several decades around the sun that you can fill in the blanks quite well.

That is, if you have lived in fear, playing it safe, doing what everyone else does. But if you have taken risks, you have probably seen some of the fruits of those steps.

But when the elderly looked back, they had regrets. Lots of them in some cases.

So, take more risks. Go for it.

(3) Do More Things That Will Live On After You

Tony Campolo quoted a black preacher who spoke on, “Do you have a title, or a testimony?” A title says, “look at me.” A testimony from someone else says, “Thank you for helping me, for listening to me, for caring for me when I needed it.” So much of what we do is just for ourselves. Our stuff. Our comfort. Our freedom. Our title. Our fame. Our “look at me” moments.

And when it is all done, what will Jesus ask? “What did you do with the life that I gave you?” We will give account to Him. And He will show us what it could have been. He will open our eyes to see that all that we did for ourselves didn’t amount to a hill of beans. Remember Jesus told us when He was here, “Inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these my brethren, you did it to Me.”

So, How Has That Played Out in my Life?

Well, it has been very good, so far. I did a lot of stuff early on by the book. In a good way, really. High school, college degree, graduate school. But I got married after my first year of graduate school. And my wife and I decided to have children. And we didn’t stop for 20 years, collecting 14 children along the way. That has been a huge investment into people that will live on after my wife and I are gone. It was risky. It took sacrifice. It took reflection. What do I want? What do I really want from life? What does God want from me? These survey answers from the 95-year olds played into the way I thought about all of this. And I think it is going to turn out really well. We have a house full of children still, even after 9 children have graduated from high school, many memories, and many ongoing relationships. If relationships are what make life rich and full, then we are overflowing. No danger of being lonely around here.

Another big decision came when my wife and I radically changed our diet towards the end of my time in graduate school. Mostly vegan with lots of fresh fruits and vegetables, and some fresh vegetable juice. It gave us lots of health benefits. And put us a bit out with some relatives, who were more than a bit concerned for us. It was another risky decision without knowing exactly how it would turn out. We have modified it along the way over the years for the better, I think. But this diet change has been instrumental in being able to have a large, healthy family. Other than midwife bills and a couple of hospital births, we have had very minimal doctor bills over the years. And nothing for chronic conditions.

Then I chose to work for a diet and lifestyle company (Hallelujah Acres) rather than a pharmaceutical company coming out of graduate school. Another decision fork. There was lots of reflection on the direction that either choice would take me. But where was the real need? What was God calling me to do, knowing what I knew? Was I supposed to take the road less traveled? Or should I go the way that most people did? There wasn’t near as much money in the diet and lifestyle company pathway. Still isn’t.

But looking back, I don’t have any regrets for these 3 big decisions. Having a large family. Changing my diet. Working in nutrition. No regrets. These decisions have been very rewarding. Not always easy, but rewarding.

Looking Forward, How Shall We Then Live?

We keep going, don’t we? We want to live with intention, reflecting on our decisions before jumping. Taking risks, conquering our fears is part of each decision. Choose faith, not fear. You do have to grow in trusting God, and hearing His voice. It may sound a bit cliché, but it is true for me. And it does help to remember what those 95-year olds said when they looked back at the life they could have had.

So, I am working on a couple of side hustles. I don’t know which one will turn out the best. Maybe Ora-Shield, my tooth oil that is great for restoring gum health, is a gold mine. Maybe health coaching is what will really work. Time will tell as I work at both of these simultaneously. Maybe it is something else I don’t even know about yet. But this financial stuff is some of that “hill of beans” kind of stuff. It enables you to have choices, but money itself isn’t the meaning of life. It is what you do with it that will matter. You can use it to magnify your character in a good way, or you can let it corrupt you and waylay you from living with intention, taking risks, and leaving no regrets.

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Summing it Up

You want to be the 95-year old that is smiling with joy about the amazing life he has gotten to live. You want to look back at the good things that you have gotten to be a part of, the meaningful relationships with people all around you, and the legacy you have left behind. You want to look back with gratitude and say, “Indeed, I made the right choices, the best decisions to make an awesome life!”